What's My Job?

Each day I'm surrounded by little miracles. As long as I'm paying attention, I get to experience most of them. The daily reading for September 27 in the One Day at a Time book  says, "I tried to manage my husband's life, although not even able to manage my own. I wanted to get inside his brain and turn the screws in what I thought was the right direction. It took me a long time to realize that this was not my job. I just wasn't equipped for it. None of us are. So I begun to turn the screws in my own head in the right directions. This has taught me a little more about managing my own life." This is a wonderful reminder for me today. I continue to hear and learn that it's not my job to set those screws straight in other people. However, it is my job to turn the focus on me and be able to clean up my own side of the street. When I can accomplish minding my own business, letting go of that compulsive "want" to control, and really be honest with my thoughts and actions, it's an amazing day. I work hard to have confidence in my HP and myself that the answers will be revealed to my questions. I just need to be prepared that the answer might not be in the "format" or "context" I was hoping for, you know those expectations that sneak up on us.

The today's reminder asks several questions, such as, "If my life has become unmanageable how can I get control of it?" For me starting with the serenity prayer helps adjust my thinking of what I have control over and what I do not. I have to remind myself, it can be that simple. Recite the prayer line by line and relate it to any situation I'm in, whether it's real or something I've designed in my head.

"Am I being forced into doing things I don't want to do, like losing my temper, contriving, conniving, and scheming to make things work out the way I want them?" This is turn has me asking myself, What choices did I make today that make me feel I'm being "forced"? Am I playing victim in a situation to manipulate the outcome? Looking back in the past I would of been guilty of all the above. I had a lot of practice trying to contrive any situation to have the results I wanted. It's scary how quickly I can fall back into these ways of thinking. As soon as I realize I've fallen into one of my traps, I try to just as quickly get out.

"Am I now the kind of person I really want to be?" I'm working on that one day at a time, but the short answer is yes. Although the "exact" details of what that definition is has not been completely laid out for me. Meaning I'm still working on step 4. However, today I am able to acknowledge my assets and be proud of where I am with my spiritual growth. In addition, I do have a better understanding of who I don't want to be and can take action on what I can today.

"An honest effort to manage my own life will open many doors to me that my distorted thinking had kept closed." Although not a question, the end of the daily reminder is very true. When I can be honest with myself and those around me, my life becomes more serene and enjoyable. It becomes more manageable and the doors of opportunity do begin to open.