Be Happy. Be Grateful. Be the Change.

I had a really nice weekend filled with learning new ways to work on my new business adventure, spent some quality time with some friends, and a relaxing day with family celebrating my beautiful and simply amazing Mom. I'm beyond grateful for my Mom and love her to the moon and back!

The other big thing this weekend was taking a leap of faith that resulted in a huge change, which finally allowed me to let go of something I have been holding onto with a tight grip. I have been mentally preparing myself for this change for a while now. You are probably asking, WOW, what big change did she make now?!! This is going to sound silly, but I switched my cell phone carrier and got a new phone. You are probably thinking, really, this is the big change?! Well, yes, for me it is!! Goodness I have had this same number and service (well I had Alltel, that was then bought out by Verizon) for 12 years!!! I loved the service and my plan doesn't even exist anymore that I was paying an arm, a leg, and half my house payment!! Ok that is exaggerating a little bit. But my bill was WAY to much for my new life style. Also, I have been purchasing or inheriting used phones from friends so I didn't lose my amazing plan!!! So yesterday, I changed carriers and got a new phone!! I couldn't think to much about it, but just had to take the leap and do it! If everything works out, my bill will be cut in half. Every little bit helps. Baby steps to jumping over the Grand Canyon in one leap! **smile** It is taking some work to get everything switched over, but so far so good.

Honestly, I've been working hard to fill my cabinet with extra courage for days like yesterday. I'm grateful for that! I will celebrate the little victories each day!

I took today off from my day time job, to take a breathier and try to catch up on life around the house a little bit. Also to spend some quality time with the girls, as they have been troopers while I have been living live a hundred miles an hour! We went for a nice long walk this morning and they are now napping happily. I hear them snoring as I type...

I'd like to share a quote I came across today. I'm grateful for those that come and go in my life. This was a beautiful way to think of them all.

“Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people move our souls to dance. They awaken us to a new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom. Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for a while, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same.” ~ Flavia Weedn  

Don't Romanticize Life

I had an amazing weekend! A bunch of the amazing gals I workout with at the gym, we all signed up for one of the local 5K mud runs. What a blast!! Getting a great workout, getting dirty, and hanging out with great friends! I also got to spend sometime with a friend, who I am still trying to figure out what will come of it. That preciously is probably my obstacle, STOP trying to figure it out and just enjoy. I keep telling myself that, and all is well. Until I start thinking again. I will keep practicing and reminding myself to not push the river, all will work out exactly the way it is supposed too, whether that is how I envisioned it or not! **smile**

In addition to all that, I also got to meet up with a couple of friends that mean a lot to me, but just don't get to see these amazing ladies very often. I made it a point to carve sometime out to catch up with these ladies. Always filled my soul with gratitude to truly spend quality time with friends that mean the world to me.

Tonight, I couldn't make my normal weight lifting training, but that didn't stop me from still having an awesome, cardio, fat burning workout tonight! The weather outside could not have been more perfect! I am beyond grateful for living in my state.

I was about to head off to bed, but noticed one of my favorite bloggers posted a list of items I should be able to say about my life. This blogger focuses on life lessons and usually puts the thoughts and concepts into lists. So I naturally levitate towards those posts, because I love my lists!! One of the items on the recent post, REALLY hit home with me.

Here is the exact quote:
"I don’t need anyone else to complete me. – There’s far more to life than finding someone who will want you, or getting upset over someone who won’t.  There’s a lot of important time to be spent discovering yourself without begging someone to fall in love with you along the way… and this journey doesn’t need to be empty or painful.  YOU need to fill yourself up with love – self-love – first.  Become a whole being on your own.  Go on adventures, explore your passions, wander around the city and see new sights, sit in coffee shops and read, write on bathroom stalls, leave notes in library books, dress up for yourself, give to others who can’t pay you back, smile and have fun.  Do all things with love, but don’t romanticize life like you can’t survive without someone giving it to you every second.  You can.  And once you give it to yourself, you will feel healed, and you will ultimately open yourself up to the possibility of healthy relationships with others."

I love this. "...Don't romanticize life..." I have realized through my recovery and discovery, I struggle with this a lot. In the past I would dive right into a romanticized fantasy of how my marriage should have been. Guess what, I was disappointed every damn time, year after year. I have to be realistic. It has to begin with me. I have to fill myself with love, respect, kindness, support, and adventure! I also have to be realistic about who I am. I am a passionate, caring, and sentimental person. Yes I can have fun, joke, and participate in shenanigans. In fact, that is how my family functions, and I love ever bit of it. In fact, many of my friends function in that manner. I assume I attract that type of person, because of the love I have for my family. I am ok with that. But on the flip side, I also have to recognize, and be proud, that a big part of me is also nurturing, loving, caring, sentimental, believing in the good, and loving with all my heart. Finding a balance of both entities, and finding others that will accept and help me nuture both sides of the coin, that is the path I walk today. Let the journey of practicing that balance continue! Not sure I completely expressed my inner thoughts on this topic, but will pray about it and share more later as it is revealed. There are more layers to discover. I am grateful for today and life is truly amazing!

The Alphabet of Living in the Moment

I allowed the stress from this week get to me a bit. Thankfully I was able to recover quickly, and let go. I continue to strive to live in the moment of gratitude and keep it simple! A little trick I have been using lately is going through the alphabet and thinking of something positive or silly for each letter, to help me smile and ease the tension in my shoulders. I want that happiness to shine from within, but in order for that to happen I have to extinguish the negative and stressful thoughts that try to invade my every waking hour! 
So, let's sing our A, B, C's!

Appreciate yourself

Bounce on the bed

Create a blog

Dig in the garden

Explode a myth

Flabbergast a friend

Get up late

Help yourself to seconds

Imagine it and do it

Jump at the chance

Keep it simple

Leave your troubles behind

Meet someone new

Nourish your soul

Opt for ice cream

Play all day

Quench your desires

Revel at random 

Sing loudly, smile widely

Touch the sky

Uncork the champagne

Vamoose

Watch whatever you want

X-ercise your hear out!

Yearn for the best

Zip, zap, zing, and zone out

Little Bluegrass filled with Treasures!

I had a busy, but wonderful weekend. Saturday started out rocky, I woke up with a splitting headache. However, I was able to get rid of it to enjoy the rest of the day with a dear friend. We drove up north to the annual Bluegrass Festival in Prescott. It was a very relaxing and fun day! Great bands, delicious picnic lunch, and some shopping that allowed us to go home with some new treasures. 


There were several great bands! I'll let them share for themselves.

We both really liked the Burnett Family.

We also enjoyed Ryan Shupe & the Rubberband. They were very entertaining!

You can check out more about them on their website.

We did some exploring of the local shops and we did find some treasures! A quick back story. The beginning of the month, last time I was in Prescott for another event, I ended up purchasing a Himalayan salt lamp. I do believe in the power of the energy that surrounds us everyday. Welcome to my H.P. Anyhow, the gal that was selling the lamps at the craft show we stumbled upon was sharing all the benefits of this beautiful salt rock. I am by no means a scientist, so bare with me on the details. Basically this salt was created underground many, many years ago under the Himalayan mountains. The old compressed salt helps produce negative ions when heated up. I've also heard they work without being heated, but perhaps it works more proficiently being heated. Anyhow, her sales pitch sounded a bit suspicious, but the price was right and I was willing to give it a try.

I am by no means promoting this website or individual, I just found it easy to read to get the general idea about this beneficial wonder of the world. Take what you like and leave the rest. I encourage you to do your own research and see if it is something that will benefit you in your home or office.

H has been having a lot of trouble when he wakes up breathing and being stuffed up, so I figured the salt lamp was worth a try. If nothing else, we have a fancy night light! Well let me tell you, after only one night with the salt lamp plugged in sitting on our night stand next to the bed, he felt a difference the next morning! H was not a believer in the salt lamp or any "energy" for that matter, so for him to be impressed with the results, that is saying something. It's amazing how the salt helps purify the air and really helps us feel refreshed! I understand now why I'm drawn to the ocean, or any body of water and LOVE thunderstorms and rain storms. The powerful rejuvenating energy of negative ions. 

Back to our trip this last weekend, I was sharing with my friend this wonderful salt lamp! She was intrigued. While we were shopping we found some salt lamps in a back corner of one of the shops. I brought two more home and she bought one for her office. I encourage you to check it out!

It was a spirit refreshed and refilled day! I love that each of my dear friends are good for my soul in different ways.

Today, I feel like I'm in a place of processing things in my life and the things that are happening around me. My boundaries must be shifting or I'm coming to a new layer in my recovery. There are moments this past week that I want to just simply sit at home and not interact with the outside world. Stepping over the sharp edge of isolation has been tempting. I will allow myself that quiet half hour or more, but then will reach out to a friend or family member, even if it is to just say hi. I don't want to allow myself to bleed to death by isolation! I need to realize I was grieving last week for things that are not. Most of the week I was attempting, subconsciously, to subdue that feeling of sadness. I'm grateful for my meeting last week that allowed me to realize I was attempting to stuff those feelings inside of myself and not allow myself to feel that sadness and grieve. Perhaps I need to do another 30 day visual gratitude blog to help me remember the wonderful things in my life and be grateful for what I do have today. Ha! That was a lot of work and I did find the journey beneficial. However, I think I'll keep it simple for now and explore that exercise for another time.

This post feels like a ping pong bouncing around, but that is sort of how I feel right now. The daily reading in Courage to Change was a good reminder for me, so I'd like to share that with you.

"Forgiveness can be just a change of attitude. I came to Al-Anon full of bitterness toward the alcoholic in my life. When I realized that my bitterness hurt me more than anyone else. I began to search for another way to view my situation.

In time, I came to believe that my alcoholic loved one might be the messenger my Higher Power used to let me know that I needed to get help. It is not fair to shackle her with credit or blame for the amount of time it took for me to pay attention to that message. I chose to tolerate a great deal of unacceptable behavior because I was unwilling to admit that I needed help. I did the best I could with the tools and knowledge I had at hand, and I believe that she did too. Eventually the message got through. I made it to the rooms of Al-Anon, and my life changed in miraculous ways. I don't deny that hurtful things were said and done along the way, but I refuse to carry the burden of bitterness any further. Instead, I am grateful for what I have learned.

Today's Reminder:
I will not allow old resentments to drag me down any longer. I am building a better and more loving life today.

'Forgiving is not forgetting, it's letting go of the hurt.' Mary McLeod Bethune"

I'm grateful I finally was paying attention to hear the message that I needed help and was willing to reach out for that help. That quote by Mary McLeod Bethune is one of my favorite in Courage to Change. When I can apply that level of forgiveness, it's a huge weight off of my shoulders.

Have a wonderful night bloggers friends! Bootcamp is calling bright and early so I better hit the hay. Sweet dreams.

Full of Awesome

My Grandma found an old photo album while she was going through some stuff last week. I spent a couple of hours yesterday scanning most of those old photos. We don't have a lot of photos from my younger years, because they were lost in our house fire when I was about 7 years old. However, I was really excited for my sister that there were a lot of baby photos of her in the album my Grandma found. There were also quite a few of me when I was 5 years old. The photo above was me posing in my Halloweeen costume. It reminded me of a blog post that was shared with me the end of last year titled "Full of Awesome!" I looked back through my posts as I thought I shared this with you! Perhaps I did, but I can't find it. So I will share with you now, as the photo reminds me that I was full of awesome, and need to apply that to my life today!

From the pigtailpals blog.

There was a time when you were five years old,

and you woke up full of awesome.

You knew you were awesome.

You loved yourself.

You thought you were beautiful,

even with missing teeth and messy hair and mismatched socks inside your grubby sneakers.

You loved your body, and the things it could do.

You thought you were strong.

You knew you were smart.

  

Do you still have it?

The awesome.

Did someone take it from you?

Did you let them?

Did you hand it over, because someone told you weren’t beautiful enough, thin enough, smart enough, good enough?

Why the hell would you listen to them?

Did you consider they might be full of shit?

Wouldn’t that be nuts, to tell my little girl below that in another five or ten years she might hate herself because she doesn’t look like a starving and Photoshopped fashion model?

Or even more bizarre, that she should be sexy over smart, beautiful over bold?

Are you freaking kidding me?

Look at her. She is full of awesome.

You were, once. Maybe you still are. Maybe you are in the process of getting it back.

All I know is that if you aren’t waking up feeling like this about yourself, you are really missing out.