Maturity

Sunset in Maui

"Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings." Step seven is about humility which to me is self-acceptance. I am slowing coming to the reality, one day at a time, that I'm not all powerful and not in control of everything and everyone around me. It has been quite a journey learning who I am and learning to accept the limitations that are part of who I am. I'm grateful to be ready to let go of my self-will and hand it over to my Higher Power, of my understanding. I still need to do my part, but to put that acceptance to work by believing in a power greater than myself and be willing to be free of the excess baggage that I've picked up over the years.

I came to a new realization today about step seven. Not only is it about humility and self-acceptance, it's about maturity! If you had asked me years ago if I thought I was mature, I would have told you absolutely! I have been told since I was young that I'm mature for my age. On many levels, it was very true that I was more mature than my actual age. However, I developed coping mechanisms to deal with the family disease of alcoholism, which in turn helped me justify behaviors towards myself and others that were not very mature.

While working this step (and the previous six steps), I realized I had found a new layer of true maturity. I can handle constructive criticism today without taking it personally. In these situations I can be aware of the opportunity to learn something new and see a new perspective or learn to respectfully speak up for myself if the person delivering the criticism is way off in left field. Taking responsibility for my actions, and my actions only. Be genuinely happy for others when they have reached an important achievement, big or small, without trying to steal their thunder. Learning to listen to others with respect and my month shut, even if my point of view is completely the opposite! These are huge accomplishments for me as I would feel the need in the past to do the complete opposite in an attempt to survive. But today, I can ask my HP for help and be willing to take that step to surrender my self-will. I'm willing to continue to work with my HP, of my understanding, to be willing to change the bonds of the old and unhealthy behaviors that try to shackle my character defects.

"Serenity is not freedom from the storm but peace within the storm." unknown source

Stars, Snow, Strikes, and Serenity

There is a lot going on right now, so I feel like my writing is looking back over my shoulder right now instead of the right now. I read and follow such a variety of websites, FB Fan pages, blogs, etc, etc, that I do tend to forget were I actually found the awesome quote, saying, or cool video! I need to be better at my documentation so I can cite more correctly. Thankful it's progress and not perfection. Well, I believe the following video was posted on a FB fan page I follow and I loved it! Please take a moment to enjoy the universe that is larger than us. Amazing and absolutely beautiful!

http://vimeo.com/ajrclips/starsfromspace


The Northern and Southern part of the state received a lot of snow this last weekend when a cold storm system rolled through. Near my house, I have an awesome view of one of the mountain ranges to the north that were covered completely by the snow! Also amazing and absolutely beautiful! Please enjoy a few photos I took.

 I love this photo!

I first thought this was not one of my best shots. I started to crop the photo but stopped when I realized the human aspect of the photo sort of added to it in a way. So I left the photo alone to the exact moment I took the photo and life zoomed on by as I was enjoying this natural beauty. These mountains are just west of the previous photo.

As I mentioned I was going to another Spring Training game on Monday. Here are a few photos from the game. I love this game! It was such a peaceful day and always enjoy my time with my wonderful friend. I always feel at ease with her and be myself without being judged. She is an amazing person and grateful to have her in my life.



 I love sitting in the lawn seats. With the clouds and the sun peaking out here and there, it really gave a spectacular view of the stadium and field. I will admit, it was pretty chilly on Monday! Especially since the sun decided to stay behind the clouds most of the game! Brrrrr

I don't have a particular team that I "follow". We were sitting next to the bull pen for the White Soxs, so we did spend sometime  watching the pitchers warm up. Man those guys can pitch FAST! Where we were standing was sort of like standing in the batter box. We could almost feel the whoosh of the ball and crack of the ball hitting the catchers glove. Music to my ears.

 I can NEVER pass up a chance to take a beautiful scenic photo. I love reflection photos. I might have to dig through some old photos and share some of my favorite reflection shots.

This evening I tried a completely new meeting not only to me, but they just started up about three months ago! I continue to be grateful my H.P. speaks through others. It was a great meeting on the third step. The third step is "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him." Looking back I realize this step was life changing for me. I was able to find a spiritual path that worked for me and find a H.P. that was only mine and that I understood. Then to continue to build the relationship with that H.P. to help me turn over my self-will and hand it over. Powerful stuff when I start to see all my hard work starting to occur in my everyday life. I attribute a lot of my peacefulness and serenity lately to my strong relationship with my H.P. and letting go of the things I can't control and can't cure. It is soooooo important for me to go to meetings to listen and hear other people's perspectives, experience, strength, and hope. It has been a vital piece to my recovery growth.