Happiness is Light

What is happiness? What in my life brings me happiness? Be happy. Find happiness. Not happy, change. These have been a common message lately. I see it as a good sigh that my H.P. is suggesting something I need to learn. Or possibly, I need to pay some additional attention to and take action to apply it to my life. The message to look within myself for happiness has crossed my path in a number of ways in the last month or so.

Happiness to me was defined in those surrounding me. Were they smiling? Where they happy? if not, what could I do to change that so they were smiling and happy? I was a chameleon to whoever I was with. Add that with no boundaries and no sense of what "my" happiness was. Yikes! No wonder I was going crazy!

As Abraham Lincoln said, "Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." I can really relate to the reading in Courage to Change on page 212 in regards to happiness. It's a lot of work to re-program my thoughts to reflect the positive view of my life, focus on the happiness, and appreciate the beauty around me and within me. A change of attitude, so simple and yet so saturated with complexity. Of course, the level of complexity is my choice. When I can make the decision to let things go and shift that focus on the things that make me happy, that complexity slowly dissolves. What is my commitment level to take a step forward to change my habits that are not working for me anymore? It sort of makes me think of an obstacle course and adjusting to each new challenge and evaluate what will be the best approach to take. I try to remind myself that there are several ways to tackle the obstacle or decision. None of those approaches necessarily are right or wrong; however, some just bearing different results or consequences that I need to be willing to accept once I decide which way to go. I think that is a key piece I struggle with. Raising the commitment level to take that leap in a direction and then allowing what happens next to happen. It's easy to over analyze that obstacle course and try to work through the different ways to approach a decision, weighting the pros and cons of what those possible outcomes will be. I can easily fall into that comfort zone and decide that I can't live with any of the outcomes I've created in my head. Commitment level drops to zero. Not realizing there were additional outcomes that were possibilities, completely out of the scope of my imagination. I'm lacking that trust in myself and my H.P. I work hard to focus on one step at time. Continue to build that trust. Believing the happiness is already there right in front of my face, I just need to enjoy it.

As the reminder states, "When I make a choice and then stick with it, I teach myself that my choices do have meaning and I am worthy of trust. I have an opportunity to make a commitment to one of my choices today."

I do want to be happy. I have every right to be happy, but it's up to me to exercise that right.

Today happiness to me is:
* Respecting myself.
* Continue to work my Al-Anon program and surround myself with like minded friends.
* Traveling. I love new adventures and exploring new places. I'm not quite to a point I can travel alone, I still need a good travel companion. 
* Walking on the beach barefoot.
* My dogs.
* Spending time with my friend's horses.
* Being outside enjoying nice weather while listening to nature; such as the birds, the wind blowing through the trees, leaves skipping across the yard...
* Reading a good book.
* Giving a friend a gift that I made.

That's my list for now.

This is Bonnie, an awesome horse I took lessons on for a while

This is Blackjack, a dear friend's horse. He's my buddy.

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." Martin Luther King, Jr.