Grief

For the last week, I have been curious how I would feel today. Today has arrived, and I still am not sure how I feel. I suppose I do feel sad, but it doesn't overwhelm me. Today and tomorrow, yes, my ex-husband and I got married twice. It would have been our 10th wedding anniversary. I will focus on remembering the good memories of the past, but will work to also be gentle with myself and live in the moment today. I am grateful for the stages of grief, that have helped me over the years grieve for the marriage and relationship H and I would never have. My healing started years ago and I have allowed myself to grieve for this loss, that is like a death in some respect. I am proud of my tears, as they are a sign of my strength and willingness to work through these emotions and feelings. My tears have helped me heal and heal my wounds of pain. I am a stronger person today. H and I certainly tried our best with the tools we had, but it was not meant to be, no matter how hard we tried to fit a square peg into a round hole.

Although I am sad today and can remember the deep sad sorrows of my early stages of grief. Today, I am grateful and feel I am deep within the fourth stage (according to this list) of re-organizing and reintegration of my beautiful new life. Life is beautiful and filled with hope.

Going to keep it simple today.